Heat Miser wins Rumble Vote 2000 by 3 votes

The Heat Miser reacts upon hearing the election results

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SOUTHTOWN USA (CNN) -- In an amazingly close vote, the Heat Miser defeated the Snow Miser in the second bi-annual Rumble Vote 2000, a contest in which voters vote for the candidate they feel is the most likely to win a fight between the two of them.

"Yes, yes, ah ha ha ha ha!" the Heat Miser exclaimed upon being informed of his victory. "That'll show that long-nosed icicle-boy! Next time he won't be so quick to give me the cold shoulder!"

The vote, held over the entire month of December at the Rumble Vote website, came down to a difference of three votes. The Heat Miser defeated the Snow Miser 193 votes  to Snow's 190.

Upon hearing of the results, the Snow Miser gracefully gave his concession speech. Citing "recent political turmoil" as the reason for his decision to forego a recount, the Snow Miser expressed his desire to work with the Heat Miser in controlling the weather worldwide. "I admit this is a blow to efforts to stem global warming," Snow said, "but I hope that the Heat Miser and I can find some common ground on which to create temperate weather." 

Voters had much to say about the candidates. "The entropic nature of the universe will eventually cause it to dissipate all of it's concentrated heat energy and change into a state of equillibrium. This will leave [the Heat Miser] with no energy source," explained one Snow Miser supporter. Another voter claimed, "Ultimately, Heat Miser will win because his passive heat-focusing attack uses energy much more efficiently than Snow Miser's energy-expensive heat-extraction attack." 

In addition to the 383 votes cast for the Snow and Heat Misers, there were 5 votes claiming that neither Miser would win in a fight, 1 vote for their mother, Mother Nature, 1 vote for Jesus Christ, and a vote by 'Aquaman' for himself, who said, "As a...JLA member, I can tell you that my power to communicate with fishes would overpower these two."

Misers' parents express pride, disappointment

Asked for comment after the election, the Heat Miser's father, the Burgermeister Meisterburger, expressed his pride for his son. "I always knew that fat slob would make something of himself," the Burgermeister said between bites of a turkey leg. Meisterburger, 73, divorced Mother Nature in 1957. Their marriage produced only one child, the Heat Miser. 

At the North Pole, the Winter Warlock, the Snow Miser's father by Mother Nature's first marriage, said, "I'm very proud of Snowy, and I'm glad he had so much support. It was a very close election, and I think Snowy's looking forward to some down time." Warlock, who is 1,031 years of age, legally separated from Mother Nature in 1643 when he left his body for twelve years, returning from the Nether Realms in 1655 and taking on a new human host.

Mother Nature was unavailable for comment at press time.

The Rumble Vote was first held in 1998, when it highlighted a contest between the Snow Miser's father, the Winter Warlock, and the Abominable Snowmonster of the North (also known as "the Bumble"). In that contest, Warlock was soundly defeated by 93 votes.

"Like father, like son," the Heat Miser commented.

The Heat Miser will celebrate his victory on Saturday, with three volcanic eruptions and a freak heat wave in Circle Pines, MN. 

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CNN.com Writer Poe Ghostal and CNN Correspondent Foogle Gorf contributed to this report